God has been real good to me and I live a very good life. However, I’m blessed, not bullet proof. Some people get the idea that when you turn your life over to Christ and turn your back on intentional sin, everything will be hunky-dory. I’m sorry to tell you but that isn’t the way it works. Jesus pretty much said so in John 16:33. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Simply put, if we lean on Christ we can get through our trials with peace. But the trials are coming.
I had a very negative situation come up in my business recently that, a couple of years ago would have derailed me completely. My spiritual growth has helped me to get through trials with a lot more peace. I renewed my relationship with Christ almost fourteen years ago but I am still a work in progress. I won’t pretend I’ve got it all figured out, but now I can see trials as setbacks, not personal assaults that I don’t deserve and cannot handle.
When I think back to how I was before my 2002 wake-up call, I’m amazed that I didn’t die of a heart attack or stroke. I got worked up into a frazzle over things that I couldn’t do anything about. I moaned, complained, whined and cried over the simplest problems, and the biggies sent me over the edge. If an issue like the current one happened, and in my business I’ve had to deal with it more times than I’d like to remember, I’d talk about it and think about it, talk about it and think about it some more. I’d cry and lose sleep and say, “Why Lord, why is this happening to me?” Man, I was pitiful.
The good news is, now I know that I will come out on the other side of this better off than I was before. That’s how God has always done things for me. Betrayal is one of the hardest things to get past. It’s why I was so miserable in my marriage before I got help for my codependency. Everything Tommy did felt like a betrayal of my trust and I took everything personally. One of the biggest things that Al-Anon taught me is, it’s not about you. Most of the time, hurting people hurt people.
Before my husband went into recovery and I worked through my own stuff with God’s help, therapy and Al-Anon, I had no idea the pain that Tommy was in. All I could see was my pain. I told myself that if he loved me he’d quit hurting me. The truth is, the more he hurt me, the worse he felt, and the worse he felt the more he drank. It was a merry-go-round of pain that he couldn’t get off of. When I started treating him like the man I knew he could be and not the man that he was, he got his breakthrough. And all the while God was using my husband’s disease to sand some pretty rough edges off of me. It wasn’t easy, it was riddled with difficulties and pain, but with God’s help we got through it.
My husband has been sober for over eleven years now and though I continue to battle my codependency, I’m much better off than I was. I can accept the fact that I can’t fix everything and everybody. I understand that I’m blessed, not bullet proof. Problems will still come my way. People I love will betray me and break my heart. I will have to make tough decisions about how to deal with those situations. But I know that as long as I lean on the one who always has my back, He can get me through anything. I’m so glad that I gave my life over to Christ. I can live in the peace that surpasses understanding knowing that God will never give me more than I can handle.
Have you suffered a betrayal? Are you trying to fix the people that you love? Do you want to know peace despite your circumstances? Schedule a free 20-minute strategy session and let’s talk about how I can help.