When we left the house for church the thought crossed my mind that I should have taken Jennifer’s number with me. If the cat that Ethan found wasn’t Peaches I should call Jennifer because it may turn out to be her missing Oliver. When I got to church I left a message for Ethan, who found the orange tabby, informing him that I couldn’t take his call for a couple of hours but that I wanted to see if the cat he found was mine.
I received a lot of prayer and encouragement at the Abundant Life Church for my cats return. Leaving church I felt stronger and more hopeful. When we got to my car I anxiously picked up my phone and there was a message from Ethan. He said the cat did belong to Jennifer whose lost cat looked so much like mine. My heart sank and despite feeling encouraged moments before I began to cry. I no longer wanted to go out to lunch with my husband; I just wanted to go home.
Emotions are so fragile. I’ve worked hard for years to get a handle on my yoyo feelings. When battling my codependency, I learned that getting ahold of my emotions would be the fasted way towards recovery. Let go and let God became my motto. The only reason I’m still married and my husband is alive is today is because I embraced that maxim. Now here I am twelve years later still trying to get control of my darn emotions. I’m so thankful that we serve a patient God. The message this Sunday was that God had my back, that no matter what He was there for me and always would be. That He is a miracle working God. I said a lot of, “Amens,” and “Thank you Jesus.” Moments later I’m in my car crying like a baby. I’m feeling broken hearted and defeated.
The good news is that with God’s help I managed to pull myself out of the funk. I sent Jennifer a message telling her how happy I was for her, despite crying for myself. I’m printing out more flyers and preparing to take another walk around the neighborhood hanging them up and putting them in more mailboxes. I’m keeping the faith that my girl will come home. And believe me, when she does everyone will know about it.