In this volatile political arena the woman’s right to choose conversation can spark a furious debate amongst friends as well as enemies. As a Christian and a conservative you can guess where my opinions lie. I didn’t always act like a Christian and I haven’t always been as conservative as I am now. My feelings about abortion and Planned Parenthood funding come as much from experience as they do from my Christian beliefs.

I know what it feels like to be brought up in a Christian-yet-dysfunctional home and find yourself pregnant at the tender age of sixteen, only halfway through your junior year of high school. It is terrifying and life transforming. The choice you make at this huge fork in the road will affect you for the rest of your life. No one’s experience is the same. I’d like to share mine in an effort to articulate why I’m so opposed to Planned Parenthood receiving a dime of my tax dollars, and one of the reasons I am so against Hillary Clinton for president. I want to shed a light where some of my friends refuse to see. They are so wrapped up in the idea of a woman’s right to choose that despite calling themselves Christ followers, they ignore the Biblical implications of murdering innocent babies in the womb. Women do have a right to choose. We have the right to choose to crawl under the covers, or in back seat of a car, or anywhere else we want to, and have unprotected sex. If we choose to do it there are consequences to our actions. We don’t have the right to murder the child that was conceived because of our reckless behavior. If I get behind the wheel of my car while intoxicated, another reckless thing to do, and kill someone in a car accident, I deserve to pay for my recklessness. Why is getting pregnant any different?

Feminists will get up in arms and say there is a big difference in the two actions, but I beg to differ. It’s your choice to get in your car drunk and drive and it’s your choice to have unprotected sex when you aren’t interested in having a child. If you hurt someone while intoxicated you will have to pay the price. Aborting a living human being that you don’t believe is viable is as heinous as a drunk driving hit and run, pure and simple.

I shared my story in a blog post four years ago and didn’t think to give my son a heads up. I won’t let that happen again. By the grace of God I have a handsome and loving 39-year-old son and a 14-year-old grandson. I also have a three-year-old granddaughter who, because of circumstances beyond my control, I never get to see.

As I said in the beginning of this post, I became pregnant when I was sixteen. I didn’t know my father. He disappeared very early in my brother’s life and mine. I’d witnessed nothing but unhealthy relationships in my mother’s life, from my own father who I barely remembered, to my younger brothers’ father who was very violent and abusive, to a manipulating slug of a stepfather, as well as one who was emotionally cut off from the world. I didn’t have a clue what a healthy relationship looked like. Dysfunction was my normal. Finding a healthy relationship under those circumstances is nothing short of miraculous. My miracle came late in life but that is another story.

I became sexually active when I was fourteen. It’s not something I’m proud of but as John 8:32 of the Bible says, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” If you hide from your mistakes in life you can’t use those mistakes to help others. I believe that when we learn from our mistakes it gives us a wonderful opportunity to help others who have made the same ones, or to keep some from making them at all.

My mother worked hard to raise four children without the aid of child support. It left me to take care of my brothers and our home life while mom was away. I excelled at it. God prepared me for the life I would lead my gracing me with an A-type, choleric personality. It has been a blessing and a curse.

I didn’t feel fourteen. I’d been practically raising my brothers for four years and I thought I was much more mature than I actually was. I had no idea how damaged I already was and how much more damage I would do through the physical relationships I subjected myself to. I knew deep inside that what I was doing was wrong. I was trying to fill a void that I didn’t even understand existed. To coin an old song, I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I wasn’t stupid. I knew the risk I was taking. I’d had enough sex education in school to understand that I could very easily become pregnant. I couldn’t explain my mindset at that time if I tried to. I felt wanted (which I equated to loved) while having sex, and discarded and dirty afterwards, but I didn’t stop the behavior.

I remember an incident like it happened yesterday. The guy I was drinking and partying with made his move on me and I had no intention of having sex with him. I wasn’t attracted to him and didn’t think that I’d led him on in any way. But he told me that I had been leading him on. He asked me if I was a tease. I was quite intoxicated but I recall thinking that if I led him on I’d better just let him do his thing. I didn’t want to be thought of as a tease. We were at a party and people were sleeping all over the place in sleeping bags and with blankets on the floor. I still cringe and want to cry thinking about how messed up my mind had to be at that time. I am mortified at the thought of what happened next and I only share it because I know that there are other young girls out there who have experienced the same thing. Your low self-worth led you to do something that, if not for the grace of God, will haunt you forever.

I remember telling the guy, who was at least four years older than me, to go ahead and do it then. I just laid down on the sleeping bag on the floor and he had his way with me. I didn’t move a muscle and I didn’t make a peep. When he was done he rolled over and went to sleep. I don’t remember what happened after that. I only remember lying there, tears silently rolling down my cheeks, feeling dirty and used. The pain of my self-loathing is hard to even describe.

I had a few drunken experiences like that one after the man that took my virginity broke my heart into a thousand pieces. The tailspin of self-degradation that my first sexual experience sent me on has been experienced by many a young girl. Societal influences tell us that giving away our bodies in the quest for true love is normal. “It’s your body and it isn’t hurting anyone” is drummed into your psyche through the ads on television, the programs we watch and even sex education itself. A big fat lie has been perpetrated on the young people of my day and lot more so today. If it feels good do it. STD’s skyrocket and babies are aborted at an alarming rate and we are told that not only is it okay but it’s normal. It’s not normal and it certainly isn’t okay.

God designed sex to be a beautiful thing between a married man and woman as a sacred act of love. Every person that touches us in that way leaves an indelible mark on our souls. Physical relationships with the wrong person leave scars that only God can heal. Chastity needs to be normal again. Saving ourselves for our one true love needs be normal again. The media and our government need to stop perpetrating the lie that it isn’t hurting anybody. BULL! Your body is sacred and if you are a follower of Christ it is His home.

I can imagine Jesus looking down at me while I was letting myself be violated with tears rolling down His face. I’d given my heart to Christ when I was nine. I was a child of God doing very ungodly things and I know it broke His heart. Christ never turned His back on me. I turned my back on Him. The great thing is He never stopped loving me and when I finally returned to Him 34 years later He was waiting with open arms. He took me back, wounded soul and spirit, and by His grace made me whole again. I’d like to share Ezekiel 36:25-26 from my Living Bible here. Then it will be as though I sprinkled clean water on you, for you will be washed clean – your filthiness will be washed away, your idol worship gone. Idol worship is anything we put before God.

God erased all of the bad things that I had done and replaced them with His righteousness. And He will do the same for you. He knows what we can and cannot handle, and I think He knew that had I done what Planned Parenthood tried to push me towards and had an abortion it may very well have destroyed me.

I thought I was in love with my son’s father for a time but hadn’t seen him for four months when I found out that I was pregnant. You see God arranged it so that I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was more than sixteen weeks along. I went to my local Planned Parenthood and had three pregnancy tests that came back negative. I didn’t have a belly, morning sickness or any other symptoms of pregnancy. I just didn’t have a period. By the time Planned Parenthood decided that I should have an exam I was well past the point of no return for me. Despite the fact that my son inside of me was fully formed with ten fingers and ten toes, two lungs and a heart beating regularly, I was offered an abortion. I was informed that because I was so far along they would have to send me to a hospital in Oakland (I was living in San Jose, California at the time.) They told me that they would inject a shot into the baby in my womb, killing it, and then inject me with a shot that would induce labor and that I would give birth to a stillborn. It was very matter-of-fact to them and not really a big deal. This is the way they were in 1976 and if you think they are any different today you are kidding yourself. Planned Parenthood is in the baby killing business. How any government official that watched the videos of employees and even top executives of Planned Parenthood openly admitting to selling baby parts for profit can still insist we fund them is beyond me.

Hillary Clinton says that babies in the womb don’t have constitutional rights. She says that it’s okay to rip a baby from the womb right up to the time of birth and dispose of it, or sell it’s parts as Planned Parenthood who she so vehemently defends does. And she calls me deplorable. Yes, I am one of the Trump supporters that she referred to as deplorable. Trump supports life and I support him. Is he politically correct? Heck no! That’s one of the reasons I voted for him. He puts his foot in his mouth often speaking from the heart but I can trust him. He says that he will stand up for the unborn child. It is imperative that the most powerful person in the world protects them. Hillary not only doesn’t believe that they should be protected, she believes that abortions should be free. She thinks our tax dollars should pay to kill millions of babies because women have a right to choose what they do with their bodies.

I’m blown away when people who believe in God and the Bible stand behind abortion as a woman’s right. It’s simply not Biblical. Since Roe v Wade in 1973 almost 60 million babies have been aborted in the United States. That’s ten times the number of people that Hitler killed in the Holocaust. How did he gain support from so many people who performed those murders for him or agreed that it was the right thing to do? By convincing people that Jews were sub-human. They weren’t viable and didn’t have the right to be alive. It’s no different with the unborn child. Pro-abortion folks like the ones at Planned Parenthood and their liberal friends have been telling society that a baby in its mother’s womb is not a life. And they are wrong. Psalms 139:13 says, “You formed my most inward parts and knitted me together in my mothers womb.” God sees babies as human beings from conception and as believers so should we.

Many people say that abortion needs to be legal because women who are victims of rape and become pregnant should be able to abort those babies. Rape is a horrible thing. It should never happen. But I’ll bet there are people out there born from a mother who was a victim of rape that lead wonderful and productive lives. Would you tell them that they shouldn’t be here because of the way they were conceived? I think not. Out of the 60 million babies aborted in the U.S. the number who were conceived through rape is negligible. It is does not make a case for keeping abortion legal.

With the moral fiber of our nation in serious decline Christians need to stand up for the right of the unborn. We need to teach our children that life begins in the womb. We need to get back to instilling Biblical beliefs like saving yourself for your spouse. As the statistics grow on murder and everything else the bible teaches us is wrong we need to give some thought to putting God back into our daily lives, our political decisions, our schools and our government. Contrary to what our schools teach, and the media and most of government promotes, the separation of church and state was supposed to keep the government out of our churches not the other way around.

Vote for life!

Vote for life!

I beseech all Christians to get out and vote and take a stand for our rights and beliefs. You don’t have to like Trump the man to know that he is still our only choice for president. The person who stands most for Biblical beliefs needs to be your choice. If the socialistic view of Obama is carried on by Hillary, which it undoubtedly would be, the assault on our second amendment rights will continue and the government would take our guns. The rights of Christians will come under more assault while the rights of the people on the fringe will grow. The minority will rule and the decline of our country will accelerate. It was reported that 20 million Christians failed to vote in 2012 and we got four more years of Obama by a margin of five million votes. We can’t let that happen again. Get out and vote. It’s not just right, it’s a duty. Vote for Trump. Vote for life.

A note to readers: If you have had an abortion Jesus’s redemptive love is there for you. Sometimes forgiving yourself is a lot harder than forgiving others. If you would like to talk or have a story of your own to share please message or email me. I can share your story anonymously. It may help to heal someone else you is hurting. I’d love to hear from you either way. God bless, Cat

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